Now I will not claim to be a writer nor do I have any intention of being one. I may use poor grammar & punctuation, I may swear, I may let myself look like a really dandy! None-the-less here I am on to the next step. I'm going to blog. I decided to face my doubts and questioning determined fear was not going to win. I mean, really, that is what this journey is about!
Now where the heck does one start? What do I want to say? What do I share? I was going to start a sort of 'story boarding' exercise (something I've done in my work) to basically create a road map for my writing but then decided - No. Why make it like work?
Now based on what I've stated above it seems like the most logical thing to blog about first is fear. I'm not going to do that though because I feel so damn good right now. So for tonight I'm keeping it simple. I just want to share, I'm proud of myself! I'm proud of my 39 days without alcohol! I'm proud of myself for saying it out loud to those closest to me! I'm proud I've cried about it! I'm proud of myself for making myself a part of something! I'm proud of myself for wanting more and going after it, even if it is in baby steps! And you know what the greatest part is? For the first time in a LONG time (actually...maybe EVER) over these last 39 days, I haven't looked in the mirror with disgust, shame, guilt and self loathing. I smile in the mirror and I feel so grateful and blessed to be where I am today with myself!!
I NEVER could have fathomed I'd be here. Thinking any of this, let alone saying it or typing it out! I can't help but wonder with pure excitement, what else does the universe have in store for me?!
with love, Codette
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